- heard.   

Outside,

the cold rain

pours down

and beats

relentlessly

upon the roof of the car. 

The car that is not yours. 

And your homeless heart flinches in that way only a newly-dispossessed person’s heart flutters and aches and cold-lip-dry-mouth-cracked-chapped hands open the passenger door, but you notice – on the floor, under those worn out boots barely covering your feet which you are nervous has caught an infection – a text, a crumpled magazine...and the printed word on that filth, the alignment and the rhythms, calm you...Because they were written by someone even more destitute than you and you no longer have to dread and shudder your way three stops on the N train amidst Hipsters who come from some place no real New Yorker has ever heard of, and yet your ignorance bounds you...But you read the text and you realize it is just the thing to read when you are in someone else’s bathroom and the floor is cold and you cannot complain because it is not your home, and you wonder where your home went and how it came to...

                                                                        *

You tried.

You did everything possible without breaking any laws, yet every moral code that you ever tried to live by has been left shattered and torn.

Your reputation – skids marks under Cassio’s heel; your name has been warped and twisted like the heart of a Judge who refuses to resign.  

You ask yourself why? And you see fleeting images of who you could have been and phantasmagoric duplicates of you and your lady and yet you wonder...what was the sin?

Like the disabled and the forsaken, you, too, cast an eye up to the sky in hopes of an answer...There is no answer.  The answer was known, was given – long ago.

And it is not his or her or their fault.  It is some perverted joke.

                                                                        *

Cecil King Meroo and his paramour, Sarah Tiluje, were killed by policemen in an ambuscade outside of Jam-Jam's Pancake house on December 23, in the 21st century, bringing to an end one of the most lurid and incredible cat and mouse chases ever in the history of the United States.  They were charged with robbery, murder, and kidnapping.  They were wanted for being in love

BACKGROUND

They met upstate New York, shortly after the turn of the century.  Sarah was 27 and about to be married to a small time hood from New Jersey. The marriage never took place and Teeny Ciano was arrested for selling drugs and tax evasion.  Sarah was not arrested and still unknown by the authorities at this time. She did not have her papers and was still technically considered to be an illegal alien.  Estranged from her family in Europe and the blue blood that flowed through their veins, she was desperate for an understanding soul, a compassionate protector, and someone who would marry her and make her legal (Cecil was looking for the same thing, but that is another story) for breaking the law as an illegal alien was not something Sarah was keen on. Enter Cecil Meroo.

He was 30 years old and unmarried. 

There was something classical about them…or Futurist. 

He was short, she was tall.

He was Black but could not dance. 

She was white, but was not rich. 

They fell in love feeding the ducks. 

Soon, Cecil was arrested for burglary and forged checks and was sent to prison.  He had been arrested once before in the aftermath of an attack on America. He had been picked up on "suspicion" and was charged with bombing a building that he used to steal from. "Why in the hell would I want to blow that building up, that building's my livelihood," he declared.  And it was true -- the big building that had been blown up was Cecil's meeting point for all his heists.  His gang could always steal food from the main floor cafeteria as well as checkbooks, and random etcetera.   He was eventually paroled in the early spring, reunited with Sarah, and continued their life of love crime. 

The lovers were suspected to have committed at least 13 murders and innumerable robberies. Cecil alone was accused of murdering two police officers in Utah (he foolishly thought that since Salt Lake City housed the Mormons, that they would be open to other "outcasts," but had to learn the lesson the hard way).  Numerous sightings were recorded, however, of Sarah and Cecil consorting with bank robbers and computer thieves.  Cecil later confessed that "the criminals were the only ones who would hire me."

*

WHEN CECIL HAD TO SHOOT JIM

A scene in the mid-third quarter of our tale, with the lovers in hiding during the Senate elections, November 2006:

By this time the lovers have already freed animals at the public zoo, and saved a man's life in the hospital - by Sarah pretending to be the wife of a poor man whose teeth were aching him and had no insurance (one look at her and they knew they had to save him!).

They met Jim.

Jim housed the two bandit-lodgers and protected them for three months in the mid-west.  But Jim was very wishy-washy and not all trustworthy.  Whichever way the flag blew, Jim was ALL for it...and his real love was always money.  He refused to bury his daughter where she wanted to be buried because it was too expensive.  Instead he bought her some plastic-hologram tombstone and had her put into a small plot of earth behind his house. She hated that house.

In the third month of his compassion, Jim's mind told him that it was time he got something out of this.  For, after all, he was not Mother Theresa, could not be if he wanted...and, well, it was time to secure his path to righteousness.

‘The Democrats have taken over control of the House of Reps. Congress will no longer be an instrument of religious right extremism and George W’s fanatic war-starting and destruction...Slowly, things are changing.

Great! Does that mean we'll get a lighter sentence?

‘Well, no, Cecil. I'm afraid not.  And, well, since you made some pretty vicious remarks about the Democrats, I don't think they are going to really care about you one way or another.’

What about the Governor?

‘What about him?’

Is he still the Governor?

‘Of course. Don't you know how this works?’

If I did you think I’d be robbing stores and stealing food?

‘He won't give you a pardon, if that's what you mean.  You also need to look at what you've done. You're not exactly a sympathetic character. You kidnapped a woman, turned her into your lover, shot a man in cold blood, fed a bunch of runaways, broke into a church -

We were cold. We needed a place to stay.

‘Doesn't matter.  They are going to say that you should have gone to a shelter.’

A shelter?  Well, damn it, that's what I did. I went to a shelter -

‘A shelter for the Homeless is what I mean.’

Why?  So these Democrats could make me into another one of their statistics?  Do you know the problems I would have, the problems I did have already in those joints?  Being with a tall blonde and all?  It was a nightmare.  You tell that to your Democrats. Take a number, wait your turn...Been waiting my turn a long time, Jim.  And sometimes you just get tired.  I don't know, maybe I am crazy.  But I just don't see what any of these Votes mean to someone who's got no address, no bank account, and no opportunity to start over. 

‘I've given ya opportunity haven’t I?  I been understanding, cause I know what its like.’

Yes Jim and thank you for that.  But if I don't move on now I'll always be thanking you for your kindness and, well,...thanking another man all the time diminishes a little of what Man he still has left in him.  All this time on the road and all I wanted was a room and kitchen.  A kitchen to make a breakfast.  Just a single Sunday morning breakfast. I don't believe in God, the bible, or any of that.  But I do believe in Sunday morning breakfasts.  They get you further than $50 on Greyhound, I'll tell you that much.  And I woulda traded our car for a nice meal on a Sunday morning any time.  I ain't afraid of getting caught.  I'm afraid of getting shot at with no food in my stomach. 

‘Cecil, what if we worked something out...’

Too late for that, Jimbo.  Sarah needs more and so do I.

‘Gonna miss you two.  Why don't we call it quid and just pay me for this month's rent.’

This month only?  We owe you two months.

‘Yeah, well, you're like family. This month only.’

Thanks, Jim.

‘It'll be three thousand you owe me.’

Three thousand??

‘Yeah, I'm sorry, C, it's just that...well, since the Republicans are outta the House now, I can't charge ya what I normally would have  - meaning the regular rate.  Now since the Democrats are in control, the war will be over soon. And so I can't give you the special rate cause there's no reason to.  Change has come."

It's a still a depression.

‘Yes, but it will be over soon and as of today - you are still here and today is an official score for the Democrats; we're gonna win this thing you'll see!  Besides, don't you feel better about yourself, no longer have to feel bad about having no job, no legitimacy...Those Republicans made you, son.  They took your soul and sucked its sap dry.  I know it was their system that made you – ‘

So you are trying save me a little dignity, is that it?  You looking out for my honor.  I pay you the Society Man's Rate so I don't have to feel like you did me a favor?

‘That's it, C.  I figured you'd appreciate that.  A Yankee boy like yourself.  You know, I grew up not too far from the

.  We moved when I was about thirteen, came down this way to stay with family.  Worked this farm a long time.  So:  is that gonna be cash?’

You know...You're wrong.  I'm no Yankee.  I'm a Mets boy.  Grew up right under the 7 train at Willets Point.  And now, you ask me if its cash?  Well, I'm thinking to myself it could be plastic, but I don’t wanna go that route and I respect the environment.  But I want to give you what I owe you, so why don’t I just charge it.   Say, with metal.  Hot.

And he shot him. 

Shot him square in the belly and twice in the neck. 

He called out to Sarah, she came running.  She took a Polaroid of the body and went inside to do her nails.

Cecil checked out all of the other vacancies, they were all empty.  They figured they would leave the body cause no one would ever think that they would have killed old Jim. Cecil went inside the office and turned the radio on. 

He listened to the ball game. 

The Mets won that night.

SARAH & CECIL: IN THE BEGINNING

Darkness.

Sound of a cock-a-too bird cawing.

SARAH and CECIL are sleeping in on an air mattress on the floor of an apartment that does not belong to them in Greenpoint, Brooklyn.

Sarah's eyes.

They are large and full of alarm as they flutter nervously, darting up and down, side-to-side.

Ceiling above is about to cave in.  Piece of splintered wood or a fragment of drywall, etc, falls from the ceiling trailing dust…

Cecil stirs.

Sarah turns.

Cecil springs up, clutches his chest and gasps for air. 

The bird continues to caw.

Cecil: (Wheezing) I can't take this anymore.

And we see it is a messy, dirty, dank apartment living room.  The type of apartment old, single, elderly people are found dead in.  Two cats pee on a sofa in the foreground.

Sarah sneezes and dust trembles in the air.

More ceiling rubble falls.

Sarah: We're being punished.

Cecil:(Wheezing) For what?

Sarah just shakes her head.

Cecil: I can't believe I did this to us.

Sarah: Don't start now.

Cecil: "Don't start now"? Tell that to the bird. (The bird screeches loudly in protest)

Sarah: Max! (Bird shuts up) She doesn't...take care...of this bird.

Cecil: Kind of hard to when - (takes puff of asthma inhaler) – when you're locked up in a cage.

Sarah: The bird is, she isn't.

Cecil: Yeah, I know. Someone got it wrong.

Sarah: To put a bird in a cage -

Cecil: I know...

Sarah: I mean...how cruel can you be? Imagine what she'd do to her own kids.

Cecil: Wait til you see.

Sarah: What do you mean?

Cecil: She's got kids.

Sarah: She's got kids??

Cecil: Yeah! (lowers his voice) You didn't know that?

Sarah: No. You didn't tell me - Jesus! I never would have decided to come here if I knew she had children as well...! Where are they?

Cecil: Don't ask. And we didn't exactly have a choice -

Sarah: (Overlapping) Oh my...! Great, now I have to call Animal Protection and the Child Welfare Department.    

Cecil: Maybe they'll take us instead.

Sarah: My back is breaking out.

Cecil: It's stress.

Sarah: (Sighs, then:) I could kill my mother.

Cecil: Please don't talk about that right now.

Sarah: Okay. I could kill your mother.

Cecil: Please. It hasn't exactly been off my mind, but parricide is not something I feel like discussing. It's bad enough trying to go to sleep.

Sarah: Parricide. What means “parricide”?

Cecil: It means killing your parents.

Sarah: There's actually a word for that. I always thought it was "revenge."

Cecil: Depends on the context. I don't know. Can we just please -

Sarah: Yeah, yeah...It's always what you want. I want to talk, you want to sleep. At least I could bring up something you can relate to.

Cecil: What does that mean?

Sarah: It means parricide is certainly better than discussing suicide.

Cecil: I haven't brought up suicide all day.

Sarah: Oh yes, I know. That means a lot.

Cecil: How many times do I have to - ? I am not suicidal. I'm depressed, but I'm not suicidal.

Sarah: No, you're not suicidal.

Cecil: What's gotten into you, tonight? Certainly not me. (Laughs to himself) I'd like to get into you...but not like this.

Sarah: So.

Cecil: So.

Sarah: You're not suicidal.

Cecil: I feel like I'm in court, right now. No, I am not suicidal.

Sarah: You've tried to kill yourself how many times?

Cecil: (To the bird) Your honor, do I have to answer that question?

Sarah: You had four attempts.

Cecil: Yes. Operative word: attempts. Those were attempts.

Sarah: Four times.

Cecil: All within the same day thank you very much. It's normal - lots of creative types go through that. Some never recover.

Sarah: (Slight pause) I never went through it.

Cecil: Well, not everyone's perfect like you.

Sarah: I'm not perfect. I just never tried to kill myself.

Cecil: You married a black man. According to your mother you did commit suicide.

Sarah: Hm. And you didn't?

Cecil: No. In the black community what I did was betrayal.

Sarah: (Unamused) Four times. That's crazy!

Cecil: Hey, I didn't have you in my life.  If I really had wanted to kill myself, and sometimes I don't know why I didn't, I would have jumped out onto a police officer and had him shoot me. Or put a towel around my head and run into

and they would have thought I was the second coming of the Taliban or something  (Sarah giggles)...I'm serious. If I really wanted to get rid of my life I'd at least have fun doing it. I'd try to...shoot the president or something -

Sarah: Sshh!

Cecil: (Lowers voice) What? It's just us talking.

Sarah: Mm-hmm. For someone who’s paranoid about the FBI and government wiretaps -

Cecil: Yes, when I'm on a cell phone. When we're on cell-phones!

Sarah: You shouldn't say that in public, anyway. That's like screaming "Fire!" in a movie theater, aren't these things illegal?

Cecil: Wha-? How are we in public? This is in private.

Sarah: Do you know if you say "Heil Hitler" in

to someone they'll arrest you?

Cecil: Even if you're joking?

Sarah: You can't joke like that.

Cecil: Yeah, cause you guys have no sense of humor.

Sarah: If I went down South and started making jokes about Black men being lynched or asked if Mr. Jim Crow where around -

Cecil: Rubbish!  It's completely different. And you wouldn't have to go down South, don't let those documentaries fool you. You don't have to travel as far as

to see people trying to hang black folks.

Sarah: Yes, I know.

Cecil: That's why...if we kill the President, then -

Sarah: Stop saying that in public!

Cecil: (Laughing) You've got to be kidding me.

Sarah: It's public. I hear it, then I'm an accomplice. That's conspiracy.

Cecil: You don't know what parricide is, but you know what conspiracy is and now you're a legal expert?

Sarah: This is not our own place, you can't say these things here. I don't feel comfortable. If it's our own place I don't care, I'd say it with you.

Cecil: Say what?

Sarah: “I want to kill the President.”

Cecil: (as if speaking to FBI under the covers) Did you get that? She said she wanted to kill - (The Bird caws repeatedly; an ingratiating loud screech. Quick pause, then:) I want to kill. I want to kill that fucking bird!

Sarah: I'm going to set her free in the morning.

Cecil: Why not save yourself the time and do it now?

Sarah: Why don't you do it?

Cecil: And how do you know it’s a she? I thought it was a he.

Sarah: (Lighting a cigarette) No. You can tell -

Cecil: Yes, the annoying voice.

Sarah: (She hits him, then:) I was on the phone earlier and the agency thought it was a busted steam pipe - which could have been likely if it wasn't the middle of the summer! The woman refused to believe it was a cock-a-too. I'm telling you she should sell the damn thing and fix up the apartment.

(The bird caws)

Cecil: I think I'm getting used to it.

Sarah: Well Ben certainly is. Does anything ever get to him?

Cecil: No. He's my idol, he's like a rock.

Sarah: He's a poor excuse is what he is.

Cecil: I swear to God, the minute I start getting used to that bird I'm gonna kill myself.

Sarah: AH! Got you!

Cecil: What? (Catches himself, tries to change subject quick) Must you smoke in bed?

Sarah: In bed? Look where we're staying? We'd be better off in a crack house.

Cecil: Believe me, I've thought of it. But they're out of vogue. 

Sarah: Yeah, well you're asthma's starting up because you smoked half a pack tonight.

Cecil: No, cause of the environment. All this dust and -

Sarah: You're too much. I knew it! You couldn't go for two minutes without saying you wanted to kill yourself.

Cecil: What? I was joking, I was talking about the bird -

Sarah: Ah, no, no, no...!

Cecil: I was joking!

Sarah: Well sometimes you should think about what that means for other people. You know the first time after we met, after that first date - I wasn't too sure I'd ever see you again.

Cecil: Why?

Sarah: Cause you mentioned suicide a total of six times that night.

Pause.

Cecil: Did I really?

Sarah: Yes.

Cecil turns to his side, Sarah turns the volume up on the radio beside her. Donny Hathaway’s “A Song for You” is heard. They listen. Then:

Sarah: I like this song. They don't make these types of songs anymore.

Cecil: Donny Hathaway.

Sarah: Who?

Cecil:(Rising, passionately) Didn’t your parents play any type of music in the seventies? Jeez... You don't know who Donny Hathaway is?

Sarah: No. 

Cecil: Oh my  - ! (Composes himself) One of the greatest - ! You know who Stevie Wonder is.

Sarah: Of course.

Cecil: Well he was even better. He sang from down here (holds his stomach) and the pain, and..! He - you're not gonna believe this...

Sarah: What?

Cecil: He committed suicide!

Sarah: Of course. That's why you like him.

Cecil: No. I like him cause he makes the hairs on my arm stand up.

Sarah: (Sighs) Beautiful. (They listen to more of the song) Our problem, babe, is that we were born at the wrong time.

Cecil:...Yeah...

Sarah: Most intelligent people are.

Sound of thunder, rain. Fade to black as the bird cries out into the night.

Digital artwork of an image by Nina von Noviki (c) 2005, used with permission